Stranger than your Sympathy
by Kagome22
Summary: Inuyasha and the others are within a few shards of finishhing the Shikon no Tama when the realization of how close they are hits them. What will happen to their group? What would they do with the jewel? And how are they going to defeat Naraku??? I/K & sli
1. The Song

I was listening to this song and it reminded me of Inuyasha. Mind you, I could probably connect anything to Inuyasha if I tried, but we'll ignore that. I quickly came up with a story to follow the song and here it is! Oh and by the way, I won't be putting the lyrics in every once in a while like a regular songfic, sorry. I find that annoying at times, it hinders the reading process. ^_~  
  
Sympathy by the Goo Goo Dolls  
  
Stranger than your sympathy  
  
And this is my apology I cut myself from the inside out And all my fears have pushed you out I wished for things that I don't need All I wanted What I chase won't set me free All I wanted I get scared but I'm not crawlin' on my knees Oh yeah everything's all wrong And yeah, everything's all wrong Yeah, where the hell did I think I was?  
  
Stranger than your sympathy Take these things so I don't feel I cut myself from the inside out Now my head's been filled with doubt And it's hard to lead the life you chose All I wanted When all your luck's run out on you All I wanted And you can't see when all your dreams are coming true Oh yeah it's easy to forget And yeah when you choke on the regrets Yeah, who the hell did I think I was?  
  
Stranger than your sympathy And all the thoughts you store for me And I'm not sure where I belong No where's home and I'm all wrong  
  
And I wasn't all the things I tried to make believe I was I wouldn't be the one to kneel before the dreams I wanted All the talk and all the lies were all the empty things disguised as me  
  
Oh yeah Stranger than your sympathy Stranger than your sympathy  
  
So now you have a general idea as to what the story is about. Okay, you probably have an extremely vague idea. Read on and find out!!  
  
For those of you who read Not Hojou!, I am writing the last chapter right now, honest I am!! Sorry for taking *so* long, I've been having problems logging on the site. Anywho, I have almost all of this story written so I absolutely guarantee that I will have both done and finished soon! 


	2. 

I don't own Inuyasha or his friends, folks. If I did, I'd be writing episodes not fanfic.  
  
Inuyasha looked over the carcass of the dead demon. Slowly he bent down near the demon and picked up a tiny, shimmering object. "Heh." He tossed the jewel to Kagome, who was standing near by. "So how many more of these demons are we going to have to slay before the jewel is complete?"  
  
Kagome opened her bag and took out shards of the Shikon no Tama. She held them together with her fingers, shaping the shards to look like an orb. A very small chunk of the orb was missing at the top. "It looks like we only need one more." She said quietly, showing Sango the orb.  
  
"Really? Only one more?" Sango asked, amazed. It was hard to believe that they had come so far in collecting the jewel shards. One more and their adventure would end? It seemed too much to be true.  
  
"Yep. Wow, I can't believe it." Kagome responded quietly. She, too, was stunned by how far they had come. It seemed like she and Inuyasha began their search for the jewel shards just days ago. She put the jewel shards back in the small brown bag and tied the cord tight to keep the shards from falling out.  
  
"Feh. Only one more shard till I am a full demon!" Inuyasha said smugly. He sheathed Tetsusiaga and looked at the others. They were staring at him. Miroku had furrowed his brows.  
  
"Inuyasha, are you sure you really want to do that?" Miroku asked, stepping closer to him. He was fingering the beads around his wind tunnel in his hand nervously.  
  
"Of course I am! It's what I wanted all my life!" Inuyasha shouted defiantly. He told them all his plans about the jewel before and they had paid little attention to it then. Why were they looking at him like this now? Inuyasha put his hands on his hips in anger.  
  
"I don't think." Kagome began, looking at Inuyasha with uncertainty. Then her face showed resolution, her lip stuck out and her eyes brightened after making the decision. "I don't think I can let you do that, Inuyasha." She said, this time with more defiance and meaning.  
  
"What?" Inuyasha asked, shocked that Kagome would argue with him about it. They had argued before, but only about petty things. She rarely if ever argued about such important things.  
  
"Think of all the pain and suffering caused by this stupid jewel. Becoming a full demon may just add to that pain. You won't be the same once you're a demon." She said, pointing an accusing finger at him. The others watched her in silence. Shippou, who was standing on the ground next to Kagome's leg, looked up at her baffled.  
  
"I will too be the same, just more powerful!" Inuyasha yelled at her. He was three feet away from her, but it seemed to be a much farther distance to him. She drew herself up, looking even taller than normal.  
  
"Think about it. Nearly every demon we have fought went nuts because of the jewel. The jewel gives them the power and the ignorance to do what they wish, whatever they wish. They are blinded by the power and led to do crazy, stupid things. Usually fatal things. Once you have the jewel and become a full demon, what's to stop you from taking advantage of that power? You could do whatever you want, whatever you want. You will become arrogant and ugly and warped by the jewel's power. Inuyasha, you know it's true!" Miroku cried, standing next to Kagome. He had tried over and over again to explain this to the hanyou but he never listened. He had to listen now. There was so much at stake when they finally found the last jewel shard. Miroku knew that Inuyasha would never stop to consider what her was doing once her found the last jewel shard.  
  
"Feh. Monk, you are telling fairy tales." Inuyasha crossed his arms against his chest. He could not believe that now they were putting up a fuss against his using the jewel. He had told them before his intentions and he was not about to back down.  
  
"Inuyasha, I won't let you have it!" Kagome yelled, stomping her foot on the ground.  
  
"And who's to stop me?" He asked, his eyes narrowing.  
  
"I will." Kagome said resolutely.  
  
"I will." Both Sango and Miroku said, walking behind her. They looked at Inuyasha, daring him to try anything.  
  
"Me too!" Shippou cried, touching Kagome's leg and looking up at Inuyasha.  
  
"Fine, gang up on me, whatever. I will get the jewel!" He yelled, now very angry. He would not let them stand in his way of achieving his dream for his entire life; he must become a full demon.  
  
"Would you really hurt me to get to the jewel? Would you even kill me?" Kagome asked, looking at Inuyasha. She knew in her heart he would not, and that is why she asked. She wanted him to know he would never have the jewel to use to become a demon.  
  
Inuyasha paused. Kill Kagome? She stood in the way of getting his dream. Something he had wanted and worked for for 50 years. If it were anyone else, who would kill them without hesitation. But Kagome? He couldn't hurt her, not in the least. But how was he t get the jewel? He opened his mouth to say 'No.' but it was too late.  
  
Kagome took his pause to be a sign of yes. "You would, wouldn't you?" Her eyes welled up with tears. She was in shock, she never thought that he actually would. How could he? "You would hurt me-even kill me- for this stupid jewel? I thought. . . " She choked back a sob. "I thought by now you would have thought of me as a friend. I know I considered you to be one. Or a traveling companion at least!" She yelled the last part, suddenly furious. She sighed, her anger now ebbing away. Now her voice turned sad and low. "So all this time together, all this time, I was your shard detector. I was a tool to get the jewel, just someone whose company was needed and not wanted. I see. I see it now." Her head, which had been on the ground before, lifted. She looked straight into Inuyasha's eyes. "I am nothing to you at all, am I? All those times you protected me from this demon or that one, you just wanted t make sure your precious jewel shard detector was unhurt. And here I thought you might. . . you might. . . actually. . ." She finally sobbed. She turned and ran, heading for Kaede's hut.  
  
"No Kagome!" Inuyasha shouted. "You're wrong! I was just thinking is all! You're not some tool! Come back! I'm sorry!" He began to run after her when the monk put a hand on his shoulder.  
  
"Let her be. You hurt her pretty badly. She needs to be alone." Miroku said quietly, looking at Inuyasha. Miroku could hardly believe what just happened. They had never fought like this before, never. He knew Inuyasha would not hurt Kagome, but why had he paused?  
  
"She needs to know she's wrong, get off of me." Inuyasha shrugged Miroku's hand off his shoulder. He looked at Kagome, still running. No one went after her.  
  
"She knows she's wrong, she's just upset. Why did you pause? We know you wouldn't hurt her, so why did you pause?"  
  
"I don't know." He sighed. "I guess I just wanted the jewel so badly it made me pause. I knew I wouldn't hurt her to get the jewel, but then how would I get it? Maybe I just began to wonder how to get it without Kagome being involved." He sighed again. "Pretty stupid, huh?'  
  
Miroku just looked at the hanyou. He didn't nod or shake his head. Inuyasha turned and walked away, opposite of the way to Kaede's. "At least she didn't head for the well." He muttered half to himself and half to the others. He slowly walked down the path into the forest, his head bent, thinking slowly.  
  
"I've just realized." Sango said slowly.  
  
"What?" Miroku asked, now turning to her. Shippou had jumped into her arms after Kagome had run off. He looked upset. She was holding him tightly.  
  
"How Inuyasha and Kagome go, we go." She said, looking into Miroku's eyes. She had never thought of their future. All she wanted to do was defeat Naraku. Collecting jewel shards long the way came with it. She had grown fond of all her companions, even the perverted monk.  
  
"What do you mean?" He asked, puzzled. He could tell by the look on Sango's face she was afraid of something.  
  
"They were traveling together before any of us met them. If they were to break apart, one go in one direction, the other somewhere else, so would we. Our group would break apart also. Some one may go with Inuyasha, some one with Kagome. Maybe we'd all go our own paths." Sango looked up at Miroku. "But after the last jewel is found and Naraku is destroyed, what then? Inuyasha and Kagome would break apart and so would we. You, perhaps would go back to being a monk, I would go back to being a demon slayer. In the end, we're just as alone as we were in the beginning." She shook her head, blinking back tears at the thought of leaving them all behind. Slowly, the monk walked to her and hugged her gently. Miroku knew what she was afraid of, and he was scared too. He didn't want to be alone.  
  
So, what do you think? I figured you'd want to read more so I'm posting the next chapter up with this one, but before you move on, review! PLLLLLEEEEEEASE? 


	3. 

I still don't own Inuyasha. I called Rumiko Takahanshi to check and nope, still hers. Damn.  
  
Kagome ran as fast as she could towards Kaede's hut. She heard footsteps behind her at first, but they stopped. She didn't want anyone to follow her, she wanted to be left alone. Kagome heard Inuyasha yell something, but she wasn't paying attention. Kagome's chest heaved, gasping for air. Tears nearly blinded her and she tripped and fell. Kagome began to get up but stopped and sat where she fell. She didn't want to run anymore, she didn't want to do anything at all. She just wanted to stay where she was on the path in the quiet Inuyasha Forest.  
  
Why did he pause like that? He didn't really think like that, did he? Kagome's heart argued with her head. Her heart told of all the things they had gone through together, all the times he had been so kind for no reason at all. He comforted her at times and protected her fiercely. But why? Her head asked. What would he get out of protecting you, a silly girl? The voice inside continued. You could see where jewel shards are hidden. He comforted you to make sure you came back from your time and he protected you to keep his jewel shard protector from being harmed and no longer useful. That's not true! Her heart screamed. He was your friend. He would never use you like that. This is Inuyasha, not some monster. Ah yes, her head argued. But he wants to become one, doesn't he? He wants to become a full demon. His pause indicated that he would hurt you.  
  
"No." Kagome whispered to herself, hugging her knees. "He wouldn't. I know he wouldn't." Kagome gave a great shuddering sigh and stood up. "I was stupid." She said, wiping her eyes. "He would never do that. I should never have said those things. Maybe I have hurt him now." She decided to go find him and began to down the path, this time in the direction of where they had been talking.  
  
Sango was walking toward her. When she saw Kagome, she began to trot. "Kagome! Oh Kagome, are you all right?" Sango approached Kagome and threw her arms around her, hugging her friend. She broke away, looking at Kagome's face.  
  
"I can't believe I said all that." Kagome stammered, looking at her feet. "I know he wouldn't, and I knew it when he asked. Something just went nuts in my head when he didn't say anything." Sango nodded. She didn't ask what 'nuts' meant, but she figured Kagome meant that she had gone a little crazy at his hesitation.  
  
"It's alright." Sango said quietly. "I think the shock at being so close to ending the quest for the jewel shards wore off then when you were fighting with him. We all know he would never hurt you, he even told us after you ran off. I think you may have acted that way out of fear." Sango said knowingly. I know I would have, she thought to herself.  
  
"Fear of what?" Kagome asked, looking up.  
  
Sango took her hands off Kagome's shoulders. "Fear of what will happen to us when the jewel is complete. We won't have a mission any more. What will we do? Where will we go? If we keep the jewel from Inuyasha, which we will, there's really not much else to do."  
  
"What about Naraku?" Kagome asked. She had never thought of the future either.  
  
"Miroku and I agree that he's most likely the one with the last shard. In order to get the shard, we will have to defeat him. What will we do then?"  
  
"Ah yes, child that is a good question." An old voice behind them said. Kagome turned to see Kaede behind her. "Ye have made your life's work into revenge. What will ye do when revenge has been done?" Kaede looked at Sango. Kagome noticed she was carrying a basket of leaves and took them from her, so Kaede would not have to carry a heavy bundle. "Thank you, child. I was on my way home to make tea, will ye join me?" Kaede asked Sango and Kagome, her eyebrow raised. The girls nodded and followed Kaede to the hut.  
  
****  
  
Miroku saw Inuyasha. He was leaning against the tree he was pinned to fifty years ago. He did not hear Miroku draw near him. Inuyasha was looking into the shade of the forest, deep in thought.  
  
Miroku stepped on a twig. Inuyasha turned his head, acknowledged the monk's presence wit a nod, and turned away again.  
  
"What do you want the jewel for Inuyasha?" asked the monk. He was leaning on his staff, peering at Inuyasha in the shade.  
  
"To become a full demon. Why the stupid question?" Inuyasha asked. He was curious as to why the monk would ask a question when he already knew the answer.  
  
Miroku walked a step closer to Inuyasha. "Alright, so let's say you have the jewel and you are a demon, what now?"  
  
Inuyasha thought for a moment and said, "Defeat Naraku." Miroku nodded this time.  
  
"Sango and I believe that Naraku possesses the last jewel shard. In order to complete the Shikon no Tama, we all must defeat Naraku. What will you do then as a demon?"  
  
"Finish off Sesshomaru." Inuyasha said cruelly and quickly. Obviously he had come up with that answer before the monk had asked it.  
  
"Inuyasha, you have already defeated him." Miroku said plainly. He sat next to him in the shade, leaning his back against the tree.  
  
"No I haven't." Inuyasha responded. He looked at Miroku. Why was he asking so many questions?  
  
"Inuyasha, grip Tetsusiaga. Is it yours? Can you wield it effectively?" Inuyasha nodded slowly. "Now place your hands on your chest. Can you feel your heart beating?" Inuyasha nodded again. "Is Kagome alive?" The monk asked. "Am I alive? How about Sango, Shippou, Kaede? Are they still alive?" Inuyasha nodded for a third time, perplexed. "Then you have already defeated him." The monk said. He let his head fall back to rest on the tree and closed his eyes lazily.  
  
"No I haven't! He's still out there!" Inuyasha said, angry that the monk did not seem to understand that.  
  
"So he's alive? Oh well. Everyone's a right to be alive." Miroku sighed and opened his eyes. Staring at Inuyasha he said, "Every attempt made by your brother to harm you, steal your sword or harm anyone around you has been ended by you. Not once has he gotten past you and several times he was almost defeated in the process. Inuyasha, he can't harm you. Half demon, full demon or probably even full human, he can't get past you. He is defeated Inuyasha, just not dead. Why kill some one when you don't have to? It will only unbalance your karma." Miroku closed his eyes lazily again. "You know there's nothing wrong with being human. We may be weaker than demons, but we are people all the same."  
  
"So you want me to use the jewel to become human, is that it monk? Well it ain't happening!" Inuyasha cried angrily.  
  
"I don't care if you're a half demon. You can be what you want to be. I was just trying to make a point. You know you could probably still wield Tetsusiaga as a human?"  
  
"What makes you say that?" Inuyasha asked, looking down at his sword.  
  
"You can change your appearance and being, Inuyasha, but not your heritage. It would still be your father's sword and it will still be your heirloom. If someone like Sesshomaru were to come around, you could still defend yourself."  
  
"Feh, shows what you know, monk. If that were true, why can't I use it when I am human I'm just wondering why it is you want to be a full demon. You obviously don't need to be a full demon to fight well you can already do that. I'm puzzled as to why you would use something that could turn you evil when it could be used for good or at least protected so it won't be used by all."  
  
Inuyasha said nothing. Memories flooded back from when he was a child. He remembered his mother cried for him, knowing the life he would live. She was the first and one of the only people who accepted him as he was. He wasn't filthy to her, he wasn't a freak. He was just Inuyasha. Then he remembered the years he spent alone after his mother died. He couldn't fit in with the humans, but he wasn't accepted by the demons either. Inuyasha remembered the decision he made to always be alone, to always avoid others. No one would take him as he was, so why should he take them for who they were? He began to grow bitter, remembering the days he spent when he was lonely and afraid. Kikyou's face came into view. She had never truly accepted him for who he was either. She wanted him to change. She was kind to the half demon, but not as kind as she was to humans, not as kind as she would be if he were human. Kikyou's face faded into Kagome's. Kagome didn't care who he was. Kagome had always treated him kindly. She treated him the same as anyone else, no matter what their breeding. She wasn't asking him to become human, she was just asking him to not be demon. Inuyasha, stuck in his memories, did not notice Miroku standing up and walking away softly.  
  
Wow, that was four pages long. The last chapter was only three I think. Okay, so what do you think? Any good? I think this story will have a total of maybe eight or nine chapters. I have most of it worked out in my head but I still need to fine tune some details. I'll most likely be posting these two or so at a time, excluding weekends, okay? Gee, at that rate, I'll be done by the weekend. 


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